And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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