he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
