the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
