sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
