If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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