did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
