whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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