We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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