i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
