yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
