i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
