dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
