I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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