My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
