Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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