I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
How's work?
Spinning.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
