I think my vagina is haunted
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
