I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Randomize
