i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i already hear my dad disowning me
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
