but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
