The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
