in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
