Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
