I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
