So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
