...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
