I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Pooping to opera.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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