Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
