I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
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