I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
No stitches, just platelets and will power
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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