Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
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