I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
