today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
