i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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