I hope mine doesn't look like that
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
