please come you make the beer taste better
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
