Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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