dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Ketchup is God's man juice
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
