Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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