go do what you do best...puke behind churches
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
