Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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