We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just want nice things and good sex
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
