i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
