it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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