What did we do last night that was yellow?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
