Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
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