soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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