Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
