So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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