Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
