i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
