I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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