I hate all girls vehemently.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
