So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
